CONSCIOUSNESS INDEX: 7.83
STATUS: ALIGNED
█████████░
Existence, Monetized at 7.83 Hz
About QATSI™ Products Order Now Contact Legal

Welcome to QATSI™ Corporation

QATSI™ Corporation is the leading provider of cosmic consciousness solutions and spiritual nootropics in the Second Cosmos™. Since 1968, we have maintained our position as the premier destination for existence optimization and shareholder enlightenment.

⚠ This site is best viewed with Internet Explorer 4.0+ at 800x600 resolution. Some features may not display properly in Netscape Navigator 3.0 or below.
NOTICE: The Federation™ has initiated rebranding efforts to circumvent pending litigation. QATSI™ Corporation advises all stakeholders to verify authenticity of competing consciousness optimization services through official channels only. Legal action will be pursued to the full extent of interdimensional law.
QATSI CORP (NASDAQ:QATS) 847.32 ▲23.7% | CONSCIOUSNESS FUTURES 7.831 ▲0.001 | FEDERATION INDEX 0.003 ▼99.2% | COSMIC ALIGNMENT STABLE | PYRAMID OCCUPANCY 94% | ENLIGHTENMENT DERIVATIVES TRADING SUSPENDED
VISITOR COUNT: 007834 | LAST UPDATED: 07/22/2025 14:23:07 GMT

Corporate Overview Video

Duration: 45 seconds | Format: Educational/Promotional

About QATSI™ Corporation

Founded by visionary CEO QATSI in 1968, QATSI™ Corporation operates from our sacred headquarters at the HASHMAFAGHIT pyramid complex in Cambodia. Our facility combines ancient spiritual wisdom with modern luxury resort amenities and a world-class casino.

What's New at QATSI™

  • 04/12/2025: Successfully copyrighted the frequency 7.83 Hz across the quants 56-79 epsilon of Second Cosmos™
  • 02/15/2025: Merged with minor parallel universe subsidiary
  • 01/03/2025: QATSI promoted to Executive Chairman of Reality Operations
  • 12/18/2024: Discovered we don't technically exist - productivity up 23%

Corporate Divisions:

  • QATSI™ Life: Holistic wellbeing solutions
  • QATSI™ Cosmos: Space exploration and naming rights
  • QATSI™ Pharm: Spiritual nootropics development
  • QATSI™ Media: Corporate communications
  • QATSI™ Ventures: Resort and casino operations
  • QATSI™ Secu-Net: Interdimensional compliance and anti-Federation™ operations
""My years cultivating Coconicotine™ at dawn taught me patience, precision, and the subtle art of breathing in enlightenment with every puff. I still miss those fields." - Sreyneang Heng, Former Monastic Farm Technician

Featured Product

The QATSI™ Cosmic Existence Guidebook

16-page illustrated brochure containing essential knowledge for Second Cosmos™ navigation.

This comprehensive manual includes:

  • Corporate genesis mythology
  • Sacred site documentation
  • Product specifications for Coconicotine Haluciparaphine™
  • Organizational charts and subsidiary listings
  • Anti-Federation™ security protocols
  • Terms and conditions for cosmic enlightenment

PRICE: $25.00 USD (plus shipping and interdimensional handling)

Limited edition run of 100 copies. Each copy individually blessed by Cambodian dawn essence.

Also Available: Coconicotine Haluciparaphine™ - No. 1 Selling Spiritual Nootropic (pre-orders accepted)

Order Form

Full Name:
Email Address:
Phone Number:
Product:
Quantity:
Shipping Address:

Note: Orders will be processed within 3-5 business days. Payment instructions will be provided via email. We accept major credit cards, PayPal, and various cryptocurrencies.

LEGAL WARNING: Transfer, resale, or distribution of QATSI™ products to Federation™-associated entities, subsidiaries, or known affiliates may result in purchaser involvement in ongoing intellectual property litigation. QATSI™ Corporation reserves the right to pursue legal remedies against any party facilitating unauthorized access to proprietary consciousness optimization technologies.

Contact Information

Department Contact Method Business Hours
General Inquiries info@qatsi.life Mon-Fri 9:00-17:00 CST
Consciousness Support +1-800-QATSI-NOW 24/7 Cosmic Time
Regulatory Compliance legal@qatsi.life When Federation™ permits

QATSI™ Corporation Headquarters
HASHMAFAGHIT Sacred Complex
Cambodia (Cosmic Grid: Φ-127.45°, Ψ-83.76°, Θ-7.83° - Classification Level 7)

Recent Guestbook Entries:

★★★★★ "Excellent corporate synergy. My chakras have never been more aligned with my employer." - M. Henderson, VP Operations

★★★★☆ "The guidebook changed my understanding of existence and also helped with my Excel formulas somehow." - Anonymous, Accounting

★★★★★ "I no longer fear audits, financial or cosmic." - S. Nguyen, Senior Auditor

» Sign Our Guestbook «

© 1994-2025 QATSI™ Corporation. All rights reserved across all known cosmos and parallel timelines.

This website is optimized for Internet Explorer 4.0 or higher. Netscape Navigator also supported.

★ NEW! ★ Check out our corporate screensaver collection!

DISCLAIMER: QATSI™ products have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration, the Federation™, or any interdimensional regulatory body. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, existential crisis, or cosmic audit. Individual results may vary. Side effects may include temporary enlightenment, improved Wi-Fi reception, and the ability to see through corporate marketing strategies. Do not operate heavy machinery while under the influence of 7.83 Hz frequencies. QATSI™ Corporation is not responsible for any temporal displacement, consciousness expansion, or spontaneous understanding of the universe that may occur. The Federation™ considers our products "non-compliant" - we consider this a feature, not a bug. By visiting this website, you agree to have your chakras monitored for quality assurance purposes. QATSI Maximus (the three-eyed pug) reserves the right to judge your aura at any time. Void where prohibited, especially in the Third Cosmos™.